13. The one about the seer woman

Imagine you meet a old woman in the country. See her standing on the side of the road and decide to give her a hand. She looks so old and tired, with a headtie on her head and a sack at her feet. Is only after you pick up the sack you realise it’s chickens inside. She laughs when you ask her about it, but she doesn’t give no explanation. She directs you to follow her off the main road and up a dirt track.

So, you bumping and scraping along, and she keeps saying -you soon there, you soon there. But the track just keeps going on and on, and the chickens getting heavy. After about half hour you finally reach an old shack, and as you put down the sack, she offers you something to drink. You don’t want to stay, but you don’t want her to think you’re scorning her hospitality either, so you say yes.

Is then you notice the ribbons tie up in a calabash tree, and the bamboo poles with the coloured cloth. But before you could give apologies and go, she’s back outside with the cup of juice. So you take a sip and it’s then she says she is a seer. You half choke and hope it sound like a chuckle. She say she see you in a dream the night before, and did know you was going to give her a lift.

Well, you don’t know what to say. You just stand there with the cup in y’hand. And she pat you on y’arm, and she say how in the vision she see two road, and you choose the road that take you to the river. And when you reach the river, Mama Glo rise up out the water and pull you down into the river.

Well, you too fraid to stay now and too fraid to go. You sweating. And the old lady laughing. -Don’t worry, she says. -Mama throw you back. And she laughs and laughs. You start to relax a bit. It’s a joke, right? The kind y’grandmother would tell you to frighten you. But then all of a sudden the old lady gets very serious. And she says, you was lying on the river bank and a flock of parrots rushed out the trees. Parrots is a good sign. But a ball of fire shoot out after them. And that is a bad sign. Then three, eighteen, thirty-one cobeau circle you like kite. And that is the sign of danger and death.

The back of y’neck go cold as she talking, and you step back, but she hold you. Her hand strong, so you can’t move. And she say, the cobeau drop down and pull at y’flesh til you was just skeleton bone lying on the ground. But is the saman tree shed leaves upon you, and the roots twine round y’legs. And bachac ants step in y’eye, and worms creep up y’throat, and jap spania build nest in y’ears.

-No! You shout, no. You don’t want to hear that. So she let you go and smile. ‘-Lanmo tale difini, she say. -Death does come in threes. Well you had enough by now. You put down the cup and hustle out her yard. -Is a good sign, she calls after you. But you keep walking, and you don’t look back.

Well, you tell y’friends bout the lady, and they laugh, and you laugh with them. But inside you not laughing.

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